ANTAKALIPA

I don't understand women I don't understand women. I tried but it's too difficult. Maybe my mind is not meant to keep such data. Don't get me wrong, I can get a woman to bed. That's not a problem, that's easy, it is as effortless as breathing. It's engrained in the human psyche, it is a evolutionary trait, my ancestors could do it, Apes can do it - in fact most life forms can. That's how nature refreshes things, reproduction. So sex is not really special, not in the grander scale of the Universe. All of life engages in it. It is a requisite for sustaining life. It is elementary to life. No one really has the upper hand because anybody can be seduced. Life is not sex, it is a byproduct of sex. Sex is not the goal of life. So you see getting a girl into bed is not difficult. In fact she wants it, she's programmed by genetics, evolution and other invisible things that constitute and make up reality. Sex is natural so she sees through all you...

Swann in Love I read the most incredible chapter in a book ever. “Swann in Love” by Marcel Proust on the classic book “In search of lost time”. The chapter is about a man who falls in love with a girl who is “beneath” him in terms of social class. The gentleman M. Swann is upper echelon; he is from wealth and practically best friends with the Princess of France. Swann has superior genes, intelligent, well-mannered, likeable and animated. The girl he falls in love with in contrast is a peasant, low class and from the commentary in the book insipid. Swann falls in love with her. In his eyes he sees the most beautiful girl in the world. She is the object of Swann’s desire – her clear skin, her facial features, her body are the elements that should be worshipped by Gods. It’s not just that, Swann is attracted to Odette in ways he cannot comprehend. He is obsessed with Odette. He can’t stop thinking about Odette. He feels like he is walking on air when he is with Odette. He want...

Between her thighs She told me she loved me and at that moment I was trapped because I was only interested in what was between her thighs. I felt it was a premeditated move consciously executed to land her man. She is vindictive and this is a ploy to possess all of me like a prisoner, a slave. That is what love is all about, control over the other person. Love is strategic ploy to weaken and exploit. Love is a flanking maneuver that surprises and hurts the opposition. Love is tact to make somebody vulnerable, a blow that makes a soldier reeling and a poison that kills without medical assistance. Love is war, deadly and compromising. I resent the notion that we were made of gold and sunshine. That is not what a human being is at all because like Nietzsche once stated, even good actions are sublimated evil ones. She showed her hand too soon. It was rash, impulsive, expedient and unsedective. Still, I had to be careful because I knew where that blurt came from. It was truthful...

Sacred Feminine (Tiamat) - PHI  You have to be in awe of the female form. For it concieves, it produces, brings to life, and brings about light like the awe inspiring, center of the universe mercury star. The female form is something to be worshipped for without it, nothing exists. For the building blocks of the universe, it's essence, existed two particles that had a sexual union to bond to create the big bang! That is what string-theory (the theory of everything) is all about; scientists have dedicated their whole lives to finding out what was before the big bang. The thought that we are a product of an explosion, an orgasm is a theory they accept thoroughly, however science wants evidence of the sperm and fertile egg. Something that could prove difficult considering the universe is already in the womb, growing and expanding. Maybe science will have a theory of everything but the answer to that is not yet conceived because we are in the early stages of development in ...

Romanticism  Don’t be a romantic is what I gathered from Johann Wolfgang von Goete’s book “The sorrows of Young Werther”. The book tells the story of a passionate doomed love affair between a young poet called Werther and a beautiful clever young woman named Charlotte. Unfortunately for Werther, Charlotte is married, so the love affair is impossible from the very start but that doesn’t stop Werther, a dreamy and practical young man who loves the arts above all else. Werther is under pressure to have a sensible career and join the bourgeois life but he can only think about one thing: the impulses of his heart. Eventually young Werther can’t take it anymore and kills himself, but rather than condemn him as a lunatic and a hothead, Goete one of the founding fathers of romanticism directs all our sympathies towards Werther. We are supposed to be on his side admiring his passionate and entirely impractical attitude to love. I think that love is a biochemical that the conscio...

ADULTERY  I love my husband. He is everything I want and need. He brings so much meaning to my life. We have two wonderful children that I adore. They are my life. By normal standards, I have everything money, safety, security, two perfect children and a loving husband. I should be happy and fulfilled. I have a great career doing something that stimulates my mind, something that I love. I don't know what's wrong with me. As of late, my energy is low and I have a problem motivating myself. My life has become bland and insipid. Everything in my life is ritualistic and passive. As a young girl, I thought marriage would give me a happily ever after. Not that I don't love my husband because I do, he is so perfect and he treats me so well. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. Still, the question remains. Is this it? Is this my life now? Everything has become chore. The spontaneous life has receded to the past. We don't have sex that often and whe...

Femme Fatale I want a femme fatale like Sharon Stone, Hi Ginger! Hi there, Cleopatra. Hi there Robot Lady from Ex-Machina, I can't believe that boy fell for your tricks, what a moron! Hi there Albertine, thank you for the lessons Proust. I want a dangerous woman who will lead me to my eventual death. One who is a master manipulator who will attune to my moods like a satellite. A woman who will string my ego like Beethoven. Play me against my friends and family like a piano and reside in my subconscious mind like a repressed memory. I want a femme fatale who is narcissistic and gains from other people's misfortunes. A girl who is promicuous and dirty like linen on the washing line. One who uses her sexuality to make me yield. I want a liar who will make me suffer. I want a flirt who will fill my gastank with jealously and thoughts of suicide. I want a femme fatale to seduce me and play to my repressed desires. I want her to study and reflect my frailties like a mirro...

Poetry and Amelia. I remember my first poetry competition back in Primary school; Lyndhurst Primary school, Grade 3B, Mrs. Bosman. It was a Sesotho poem about three little birds. We went to this other school and there were other kids from other schools. Man, I was nervous but I had been practicing with Mrs. Bosman and she told us to do what we did at practice, don't be scared, stand up straight, open your legs, be grounded and affirmed, count to 5, take a deep breath and relax, then perform and then after you can sit, when you're done you'll get your certificate. Mrs. Bosman trusted me, she had deep confidence in me. I loved her and her encouragements. I went on the stage and did the best that I could. 3 more learners from my school went and then we were handed our certificates. There were learners who got Diplomas at the time but it wasn't a lot, it's difficult to get a Diploma when you are 7 or 8. A Diploma certificate was prestigious. It had a red scr...

Mbalenhle 2008 and I am the new kid at school, I am in a foreign environment, everything is different, the kids are different, the culture at school is different, we have white kids here and the kids can bring their cellphones to school. That's unbelievable! At my previous school, you couldn't bring your cellphone to school, that was forbidden but when you got to the 7th grade, you had your own toilets that nobody else could use! Reserved only for the seniors of the schools, exclusively for grade 7's, nobody else used them. The toilets were nicer, they were cleaner and they smelt good. Afterschool when everybody went home, I would use the toilets reserved only for the grade 7's. It was a dream to be a senior and to be able to use those toilets. I never did, I left when I was in the 6th grade. Maybe I should have stayed one more year and concluded my primary education there, if not for the education then at least for the toilets. I was popular, I was the best...

Chalice  Chalice available on Youtube and SoundCloud Listen to Chalice, a EP by antakalipa on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/1dd9r https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLks7jD_Oj0j8s8ceMdg3xuO1aebkJMLJ_

SILVER TONGUE DEVIL He told me that I am the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. That I have everything – the smile, the body and the personality. I think he is a professor on hyperbole – a professor in the sense that he can hold a seminar with a room full of profiled, esteemed and affirmed men and make them all feel special – subjectively. The way he paints pictures with his mouth sometimes, it’s incredible, work only rivalled by the Mona Lisa by Leonardo Da Vinci. You know that his comments are exaggerated, falsified, fabricated and unverified but you still get lost in them. It’s like they bypass your conscious mind. He is so smooth. He is sweet. I am in love with him. He makes me feel like I can fly. When he touches me, I get hypersensitive and my nerves are all over like the scattered stars in the night sky. I love being seen with him, he drives up my worth and makes people talk. They are all envious, they want to be me. I am known like I matter when I am with him, wh...

Live Feed You will always find me at the table with pretty girls or the cool guys. When I walk in everyone is eager to give me a beer. Like "take one in the cooler, we are together". Thanks mpinch, my throat was dry. Black Label, Heineken, Castle it's all the same to me. But I prefer Corona, it's lighter and I can cover more distance. To the stoners, I see you, I'll be with you shortly, I got some stuff I got in the jungle that will make you wanna bless the good stuff, I got you, I am here, always the herb man, I should be spice. Ice cold charisma that will have reminencing ice, mixing Hennessy dry gin with no ice, take it straight to the head. When my nigga Stee pull up, it's Convosier, Monkey Shoulder, Remy Martin, 48, Heiger or some stuff I've never had before. Bottles on bottles, everyone loves him, he's a charismatic guy. VSOP on a typical Tuesday, Yea he's a legend, respect. The great man on the credits, he is the greatest of all ...