Swann in Love

Swann in Love

I read the most incredible chapter in a book ever. “Swann in Love” by Marcel Proust on the classic book “In search of lost time”. The chapter is about a man who falls in love with a girl who is “beneath” him in terms of social class. The gentleman M. Swann is upper echelon; he is from wealth and practically best friends with the Princess of France. Swann has superior genes, intelligent, well-mannered, likeable and animated. The girl he falls in love with in contrast is a peasant, low class and from the commentary in the book insipid. Swann falls in love with her. In his eyes he sees the most beautiful girl in the world. She is the object of Swann’s desire – her clear skin, her facial features, her body are the elements that should be worshipped by Gods. It’s not just that, Swann is attracted to Odette in ways he cannot comprehend. He is obsessed with Odette. He can’t stop thinking about Odette. He feels like he is walking on air when he is with Odette. He wants to spend all his life with Odette. He wants to consume Odette. He is crazy about Odette. He is in love with Odette.

In his mind everything is perfect. In his mind Odette is also madly in love with him. However reality caught up like a stop watch. He began to spot holes in his fabricated reality. He thought about the possibility of Odette using him for his money. That possibility was welcomed and he used it to reel in Odette closer by spoiling her and giving her money to spend on expensive clothes and eat food in the most expensive restaurants. It became evident that indeed Odette was using him for money but Swann didn’t care that much – for he was with her precious Odette. Odette was manipulative, she knew she had the power and she was controlling the strings as she saw fit. She was sometimes distant in a way Swann could not understand. It was enticing for Swann. He was lured, seduced played like the keys on a piano. She made Swann beg to see her. She did things on her terms which prompted Swann to spend more money on her. To Swann money guaranteed minutes with Odette. Swann was conscious of everything, but it was no matter for he was in love with Odette. Swann’s family perceived Odette as boring and bland – someone who was not worthy for Swann. Someone who used Swann as a tool to build a bridge that will enable her to walk on the brighter side of life – the luxurious life. Swann acknowledged this and was still fine with this.

More holes began to emerge as he suspected that Odette was having an affair. This drove Swann to wild desire. He wanted to possess Odette. He was obsessive and neurotic. His mind was full of thoughts of Odette. One night when he was at her place, Odette conjured up a plan indicating that she was exhausted from the activities of the day and that she wanted to call it a day. Swann was not convinced and thought that Odette wanted to entertain one of her lovers, besides it was too early. He said nothing of his suspicions and chose to leave. When he left Odette’s place, she switched off the lights indicating that she has gone to sleep. After a couple of hours, Swann haunted by his thoughts went to Odette’s place and observed the lights on. Through the window he saw shadows and heard voices. He recognized Odette’s voice but not the second voice. The second voice was masculine. Swann’s suspicions were confirmed. After a couple of days, Swann confronted Odette and she lied. The lies made her so unattractive to Swann but he was still in love. He couldn’t help being in love with Odette.

He took a break from everything and went for a holiday. He wanted to get away from Odette. He still could not stop thinking about Odette. Odette was the gatekeeper of Swann’s mind and heart. He couldn’t convince himself otherwise – he was in a  deep hole that had no light, no direction, and no hope. There’s a deep despair when you read the passages because you get the sense that there’s nothing that Swann can do. Swann has become a slave to his mind and heart and Odette is that tyrant tormenting and breaking Swann a part. Swann is devastated! He finally gets his thoughts together and returns. He again has a conversation with Odette and she affirms everything. Swann feels betrayed. His world comes tumbling down. However, he still can’t let go of Odette. After all, Odette needs him. She loves Odette. He realizes that Odette never loved him at all but it’s okay because what he felt for her was real. He just wishes he could go back to a time when he was ignorant of all these facts – a time when she was in love with him. It was a subjective reality that was made objective by Odette. Odette is so important to him, he can’t let her go. He doesn’t know how to let go. It’s a tragic case. Swann finally cocoons himself and stays away from everyone. Somehow he fills the empty void in his heart and starts recovering. The chapter ends with Swann contemplating in his heart, he is nostalgic and reflective; he thinks about how he fell in love with someone who didn’t love him, someone who was beneath him in every aspect intellectually and socially. Someone who used him. He saw all of this, he was conscious of all of this and yet he couldn’t do anything.

This story is so interesting. I am amazed. This story is like the story of young Werther by Goethe. It’s so interesting the subject of love, the subconscious mind and projections. Werther suffered from the common male projection “The Elusive Woman of Perfection”. Charlotte was so perfect in Werther’s eyes but he didn’t know what exactly made Charlotte perfect. He was infatuated. He was in the sky with rainbows. He was so gone. Carl Jung is so right when he states that we should reconnect with our Anima or Animus. It’s very dangerous not to explore this because it creates shadows within us and these shadows come up subconsciously. Shadows are dangerous because they represent what is most repressed in us. They bypass the rational faculties of the mind. They control us secretly without us knowing. As Jung explained Anima is the feminine part of a man’s personality and Animus the masculine part of a female’s personality. Tapping into your Anima or Animus grants you access to your subconscious mind and there you have an opportunity to see what is repressed. Seeing what is repressed gives you the edge as you can orientate and position yourself much better. You will be more in sync. Werther suffered from this projection because he was not aware of the repressed elements in his mind. He was passive and that allowed the shadow to take control of his life. In his case you have to look at his relationship with his mother to understand his projection. Quite clearly he projected what he thought he never got from his mother onto Charlotte. And Charlotte being a mother and strong subconsciously brought out these feelings in Werther. He made up Charlotte in his head and killed himself because of this projection. This is the danger of not thoroughly understanding yourself. 

In the “Swann in Love” chapter we see another projection that devours Swann, namely the “Fallen Woman” projection. Odette is from a different social background. She is not as educated as Swann. She is not from wealth and Swann thinks that she’s earthy. Odette is also a  blank screen, often described as boring – the perfect candidate to project all your ideals onto. You see Swann knows and sees perfectly well that Odette is imperfect, bad and maybe a whore but he also thinks that he can be the one to save her. The more Odette goes off the rails, the more Swann falls deeper in the pit. It’s amazing! You see consciously Swann is attracted to women of her social class, women who are well-educated and seem good and perfect. Subconsciously however, he is attracted to women with dubious characteristics. Swann couldn’t do anything because his shadow was at play. It's difficult to account for the things that our conscious minds do let alone our subconscious. Secretly, subconsciously Swann is tired of the dogmas of his class and craves for something opposite of himself. His mind is split. He wants a mother for a wife but feels a much stronger physical connection to the whore. It just amazing reading this and analyzing Swann’s character. It seems as though projections and subconscious desires rule in the game of love.

We also see this on the movie Casino by Martin Scorsese where Robert De Niro’s character “Ace” Rothstein falls in love with Sharon Stones character Ginger McKenna. The two don’t hit it off. However Ace is a practical man, an analytical man he makes a preposition that Ginger cannot turn down. Namely, that they get married and she will be well taken care off in terms of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. He communicates that as long as their relationship is based on honesty and trust – everything will be alright. Ace makes well of that promise and takes care of Ginger. Ace gets Ginger whatever her heart desires, money, designer clothes, diamonds, a mansion and the latest sports car. The pair get married and conceive a child. Life seems good for the former prostitute and hustler. However that is not the case as their relationship is made hard by Ginger’s covetousness and love for her manipulative former boyfriend. Lester the former boyfriend cons Ginger a couple of times and Ace finds out and beats him to a pulp leading Ginger to resort to alcohol. 

Ace is generally a good guy, who is reasonable, practical and just wants the best for his family. He wants to build something with substance, something that has meaning. He saw Ginger as someone whom he can build with because of her traits. Ginger was resourceful. She was a hustler. She knew her way through the maze. She had this remarkable gift of making people feel appreciated. She was accommodative. She was warm. She was beautiful. She knew how to treat people. She was intelligent. She was everything that Ace wanted in a woman. She was ideal. Ace understood the idea of love was overrated and not real. He just needed someone to turn his house into a home and this would be achieved through mutual respect and honesty. However Gingers repressed desires made this impossible. For one, he was attracted to someone totally different to Ace. Lester was a con artist, a pimp, someone not regarded highly in society. As you watch the movie and Ginger’s character develops you understand that she has a projection problem and deep rooted daddy issues problems. In Ginger’s case you have to look at her childhood and her relationship with her father. She probably had a patriarchal father who was distant and strict. The father represents order, rules, and conventions. He was often quite critical of his daughter, she was never good or pretty or smart enough. She internalized this critical voice and hears it in her head all the time. As a girl she dreamed of rebelling and asserting herself against the father’s control, but too often she was reduced to obeying and playing the deferential daughter. Her desire to rebel was repressed and went into her animus, which is quite angry and resentful. Instead of developing the rebelliousness herself, she looks to externalize it in the form of the rebellious male – Lester. When she married Ace – she married her father and that made her quite resentful. Lester is her platform to be rebellious. So when Ace beat Lester to a pulp it was a form of operant conditioning that she couldn’t take nor accept and so she rebelled more and resorted to alcohol and drug addiction. Ginger fearing for Lester’s life stops seeing him but she does something taboo – she sleeps with Ace’s childhood best friend. 

I love Ginger because she is so interesting. She taught me about women, about life. A big congratulations to Martin Scorsese for creating another classic. The acting was superb. The micro expressions, the body-language, the psychology to tap into a character. I was blown away. Ginger is by far my favorite Martin Scorsese character. In the end what will save us is being authentically individualistic by tapping into our Anima or Animus – that reduces the probability of the shadow coming out when you least expect it because you will be so comfortable with yourself. I think Carl Jung’s work is brilliant!