Interpretation of dreams #2

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Interpretation of dreams #2 

I dreamed I am Spiderman but my webs are not strong enough, sometimes they are not coming out, it's stressful. Its a nightmare, I keep falling, I can't catapult. My mask has been taken away from me by another Spiderman, I am not worthy. Everyone can see who I am, my identity is exposed, it's raining, rain is in my eyes. So much expectations out of me because I am Spiderman, but I can't do anything, I am falling apart, I can't beat the bad guy. My webs are not strong enough, too weak and fragile. Sometimes they don't come out, so I fall and jump. I am exposed, everyone can see my face. So I am running, swinging. I am running away from myself. A longtime friend shouts out my name in attempts to get me back to my path but I web his mouth to shut him up. He doesn't understand, my webs are not strong enough and I am exposed. I can't do anything. I can't save anybody. I am weak. I keep wishing there is a redemption arc, I want the dream to process faster, but it doesn't, it's a nightmare and rain is in my eyes. I keep swinging, running away from myself with echoes of my name rebounding around me. Then I wake up. I didn't like this dream.

I have to watch "The Amazing Spiderman 2", it's the only Spiderman movie I haven't seen, everything was cool and the dream was structured around Andrew Garfield. I was watching, a spectator and suddenly everything changed, it became about me. Spiderman lost his power and the other Spiderman was relentless in getting his mask. The other Spiderman was in pursuit of the original Spiderman. He couldn't be evaded, he was patient and cunning, jumping, leaping and swinging vertically, horizontally and strategically to make the space smaller so he can corner the other Spiderman. His web strands are thick and strong. He is faster. So much focus and dedication to unmask the other Spiderman. He won and took off the mask of the other Spiderman and escaped. The unmasked Spiderman ceased being Andrew Garfield, it was me and I was exposed and disgraced. The whole dream, I tried getting back to Andrew's level but I failed. I was not worthy. My webs are not strong enough and everybody can see my face. Everybody can see my shame. I woke up - what a nightmare! 



Analysis: It has been raining quite a lot over the past couple of days. My door is damp and damaged from all the rain. I can't fix it or buy another one because I don't have the money, I feel helpless to do anything. I applied for a writing masterclass from the John Kani Institute and was met with a "unfortunately...". And would you look at that? I wake up to a broken fridge and kettle. Immaculate timing as always, thank you so much City Power and Eskom - I can't fix that too. My feelings of insufficiency and unworthiness breaking charts. I am a weak ass Spiderman and everybody can see. I can't beat the bad guy, my cover has been blown and my webs strands are not strong enough, they keep breaking and sometimes they don't come out. I also can't run away from myself and the rain is in my eyes. A lot of shame in this dream. 

Goddammit!! My luck has to change, I need happier dreams. Dreams about love and making lots of money. God, Universe, give me a break man! This Spiderman stuff is bullshit!

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