Interpretation of dreams

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Interpretation of dreams

Ever since I started reading "The Interpretation of dreams" by Sigmund Freud, I have a relationship with my dreams. I am understanding myself a bit better. I should keep a dream journal. The dream as wish-fulfillment. The dream I had today was interesting. My interpretation of the dream is one of fatigue. In the dream I was walking long distances, I am with someone, female, identity not clear but we get along. We both walking but we are fatigued. The act of walking long distance is not a sacrifice, we both love it but we are still fatigued. Something has to give, we can't keep doing this, there is no reason to keep doing this, there is no incentive to keep doing this, love is not enough, we can't keep walking, we are fatigued but we are still cheerful and happy. 

Intuitively I understand the dream, I've been feeling so limited. Feeling so boxed in and disillusioned with life and everything. I do feel fatigued, I can't keep walking the extra mile. I can't keep putting people over when they turn a blind eye to my needs. I am fatigued, I am tired. Why do I feel so tired? I think I feel undervalued and unappreciated. 

My friends recently went to Durban and they left me behind. I didn't have the money to take the trip but that can't be the determining factor. They had transport, they had enough. They left me behind. They never would have done that in the past. It's like there's a bridge between me and them and I can't get over. I don't feel close to anyone anymore. This bridge is frustrating! It's a metaphor for my life, I can't get over and make money in my professional life and yet I am still walking. There's something in between, hindering me from getting to my destination. It induces feelings of unworthiness, I feel stuck, I have feelings of shame, I am isolated, I have no connections. I am tired, fatigued, nothing I do is bringing the desired effects, even my lifelong friends are indifferent towards me. I am cool with not having gone to Durban, I wouldn't want anyone to harber secret resentments towards me because I went and didn't pay - that would be so horrible! However, the trip did have an impact on my thoughts and apparent dream.

I do think the dream is addressing my people pleasing tendencies. It's a big saboteur, it's draining me and hence the fatigue. I may secretly yearn for validation from others and hence the cheerful disposition from walking long distances despite my fatigue. The dream is both literal and figurative. Oh Freud, what a mess!

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