ANTAKALIPA

Swann in Love I read the most incredible chapter in a book ever. “Swann in Love” by Marcel Proust on the classic book “In search of lost time”. The chapter is about a man who falls in love with a girl who is “beneath” him in terms of social class. The gentleman M. Swann is upper echelon; he is from wealth and practically best friends with the Princess of France. Swann has superior genes, intelligent, well-mannered, likeable and animated. The girl he falls in love with in contrast is a peasant, low class and from the commentary in the book insipid. Swann falls in love with her. In his eyes he sees the most beautiful girl in the world. She is the object of Swann’s desire – her clear skin, her facial features, her body are the elements that should be worshipped by Gods. It’s not just that, Swann is attracted to Odette in ways he cannot comprehend. He is obsessed with Odette. He can’t stop thinking about Odette. He feels like he is walking on air when he is with Odette. He want...

Zithande - Confirmation bias  Love yourself right now, at this moment, at this second. Love everything about yourself. Love your big eyes, your big ears, your big forehead, your small nose, your slanted small eyes, your big lips, your rectangular face, your large hands, your small feet, your fat ass and your small breats. Be content with everything you are. Be grateful to see the beauty life has in store. Be happy to attract happiness in your life. Make it a deliberate practice to be happy, to love yourself. The world mirrors and reflects our thoughts, so think positive thoughts to attract positive outcomes. Our thoughts are energies that become concrete things in the objective world. We are what we think about most of the time. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life, everyday, every time, 100% percent of the time. Everything is a consequence of what happens inside of you. Everything is within you. Zithande and the world will love you. Respect your...

Sandton City I had a date with destiny. She was everything I thought I wanted. She was prosperous and promised to share her riches with me. She was gorgeous with her make-up on and towering heels. She resembled a Mac advertisement like Pearl Thusi. Damn! I was star struck, lights were flickering all about, it was like a dream and I was unconscious, locked in a trance of Gucci patterns and colors. She was glorious. I was impressed but that was not enough for her. To grant my hearts desires I had to give her my soul. To relinquish control of my core beliefs and values. She wanted my blood on the contract. It was a big test for me. Do I give in and get lost in the magic maze? Or do I stay put and believe in my process and believe that time will prove me right? I've been hungry all my life, starved to the bone, dreaming, contemplating about forever and her role in my life. I come from a place of broken dreams, Alex, the hood, a place where dreams die. There's a reason i...

Between her thighs She told me she loved me and at that moment I was trapped because I was only interested in what was between her thighs. I felt it was a premeditated move consciously executed to land her man. She is vindictive and this is a ploy to possess all of me like a prisoner, a slave. That is what love is all about, control over the other person. Love is strategic ploy to weaken and exploit. Love is a flanking maneuver that surprises and hurts the opposition. Love is tact to make somebody vulnerable, a blow that makes a soldier reeling and a poison that kills without medical assistance. Love is war, deadly and compromising. I resent the notion that we were made of gold and sunshine. That is not what a human being is at all because like Nietzsche once stated, even good actions are sublimated evil ones. She showed her hand too soon. It was rash, impulsive, expedient and unsedective. Still, I had to be careful because I knew where that blurt came from. It was truthful...

Return of Saturn   “Every twenty-nine years the planet returns to the same point in the sky that it occupied at the moment of our birth.” That is a Paulo Coelho quote, bestselling author who is known for producing works like “The Alchemist”. By “the planet”, he refers to Saturn and he states that at the moment we are born we have twenty-nine years of unlimited potential, in that time we can choose to become who and what we want to be. After the twenty-nine year cycle the world closes and we become our dominant actions and thoughts. He states that the second cycle comes when we are 56 years old and at that time we can reinvent ourselves again and become what we desire. Paulo Coelho states that after those 29 years in which Saturn has returned to the same point in the sky that it occupied at the moment of our birth, life becomes automated and passive. Life becomes the product of those twenty-nine years. It is a beautiful analogy, one that makes me take an interest in astr...

Remember, that's life.  In 2019 film maker Todd Phillips released his psychological thriller classic movie titled "Joker" to much acclaim. The movie gathered 11 nominations from the Academy including Best Picture and Best Director for Todd. The film's lead Joaquin Phoenix earned the accolade for Best Actor for his efforts. His performance was a masterclass on acting. The movie centers around the subject of nihilism. Arthur Fleck is a man in his late 30's living with his mother in the hellish city of Gotham. When he was young he suffered a head trauma injury that affected the neuro-circuitry in his brain resulting in a cognition impairment that enables him to laugh uncontrollablely without his conscious doing. This mental disorder isolates him from society and it results in him being an outcast. With this being his default, he sinks into an abyss of apathy and depression. He loathes his life and fantasizes about death. His hatred of life ultimately lead...

Sacred Feminine (Tiamat) - PHI  You have to be in awe of the female form. For it concieves, it produces, brings to life, and brings about light like the awe inspiring, center of the universe mercury star. The female form is something to be worshipped for without it, nothing exists. For the building blocks of the universe, it's essence, existed two particles that had a sexual union to bond to create the big bang! That is what string-theory (the theory of everything) is all about; scientists have dedicated their whole lives to finding out what was before the big bang. The thought that we are a product of an explosion, an orgasm is a theory they accept thoroughly, however science wants evidence of the sperm and fertile egg. Something that could prove difficult considering the universe is already in the womb, growing and expanding. Maybe science will have a theory of everything but the answer to that is not yet conceived because we are in the early stages of development in ...

EQ (Emotional Intelligence) In 2015 PIXAR released a movie titled “Inside Out”. The movie explores what goes inside a little girls head. It is staged inside the limbic system – the part in your brain that processes feelings and emotions. It personalized the 5 main emotions that everybody has namely; Joy, Anger, Disgust, Fear and Sadness. Joy is golden, spirited, motivated, overzealous, unsuppressed and delightful. Sadness is blue, soppy, depressed, overwhelming and deflated. Fear is purple, nervy, unsettled, worrisome, unfulfilled and insecure. Disgust is green, finicky, stylish, assured and confident. Anger is red, unreasonable, self-serving, tantrum throwing and unstable. The movie explores emotion regulation, the purpose of emotions and their functions, impulse, imagination, the amygdala (the fight or flight organ) the subconscious mind and the importance of sleep. It is an amazing movie – my all-time favorite without a doubt. It garnered universal acclaimed from critics...

The Hero II It seems as though Science has proved the existence of God. A statement that Stephen Hawkins would disagree with however it’s in plain sight. I will explain. Existence came about a big bang that created space and time. Science explains that the big bang just happened – that it came out of nowhere. Okay, fair enough however that big bang created a vacuum and the existence of the universe and life is contained in that vacuum of space and time. What surrounds that vacuum of space and time is nothing. Pure nothingness. We cannot comprehend that “nothingness” because we are in this vacuum of space and time. Human beings cannot sit for an hour without being distracted by their smartphones; what is an hour to forever. It is clear an entity outside space and time created the universe. The bible states that God is abstract and all around. It states that God is formless and forever – that is to say exempted from time and space. There is no time outside the Universe, no sp...

Good and bad  Would I be an Adolf Hitler or a Josef Stalin or Mao? Would I be the person credited for almost ending the world if I had absolute power? Am I a good person or am I evil? Am I in control of my actions or just a puppet stringed along in this parody of a play called life? Is there such a thing called freewill? Is there such a thing called freedom? Am I really conscious? Do I really have thoughts or I am just deluded and everything I know comes from culture and mythology. Do I have it in me to kill in cold blood? To take away existence, confiscate the human soul out of its confines? Do I have faith? Do I believe in God, myself? Am I terrified of death? Can I put my trust in man? Do I have a hatred of life? Would torturing a human being bring me pleasure? Do I love myself? Am I happy? Would I kill my brother and rape my sister? Would I starve millions to make a point? Would I blame others for my inadequacies? Am I the image of God or extremely flawed? Is this a...

Romanticism  Don’t be a romantic is what I gathered from Johann Wolfgang von Goete’s book “The sorrows of Young Werther”. The book tells the story of a passionate doomed love affair between a young poet called Werther and a beautiful clever young woman named Charlotte. Unfortunately for Werther, Charlotte is married, so the love affair is impossible from the very start but that doesn’t stop Werther, a dreamy and practical young man who loves the arts above all else. Werther is under pressure to have a sensible career and join the bourgeois life but he can only think about one thing: the impulses of his heart. Eventually young Werther can’t take it anymore and kills himself, but rather than condemn him as a lunatic and a hothead, Goete one of the founding fathers of romanticism directs all our sympathies towards Werther. We are supposed to be on his side admiring his passionate and entirely impractical attitude to love. I think that love is a biochemical that the conscio...