The Gulag Archiepelago IV: Fatigued

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The Gulag Archiepelago IV: Fatigued

I am tired, tired of complaining about the daily injustices of the Archiepelago, tired of not having a voice, they stripped us off our names and gave us numbers so we ceased to exist as human beings but as livestock. The message is simple; “You are now the property of the State, we own You”. I am tired of working for 9 straight hours. You can’t even finish your task quickly with the intent of rest because if you do, you’ll be given more work and if you refuse punishment awaits, work loves fools, a zealous horse doesn’t live long. I am tired of the insults and negative energy that suppresses confidence like a compressor, if you call a man a “pig” for 7 years, he’ll end up grunting. I am tired of not seeing my family. I forgot what they look like and my memory is failing, I don’t have pictures and I didn’t get the chance to tell them how much I love them. That’ll haunt me until my last breath. I am tired of living this comedy of an existence that lacks a punchline. Maybe I am the punchline, it would certainly explain the multiple bruises throughout my body and my soul crushed like garlic, maybe the joke is on me. Why would God play such a demented joke on me? Doesn’t he love me? Is it a test? Can’t he hear my sobs of pain and great distress? Maybe he just doesn’t care. Just the other day a woman was sentenced to 25 years for allegedly praying for the death of Stalin because not even our thoughts and prayers are our own. I am tired of not owning my will. God government does what he wants with my life. We got second sentences, we were just informed to sign, no trial, just an additional 10 years and if you didn’t sign they put you in punishment centers were they would torture you until you gave in like penetration, in other words, you screwed up either ways. I am tired of the humiliations and mistreatments, they put me in a cold cell below 0 in just my underwear, they spit on my face, how am I going to cope with another 10 years? Whom did hard labor ever correct? I am tired of the numbing cold, there’s 12 months of winter and the rest is summer. They give us 2 letters a year and most don’t reach their destination because they are simply burned – the Post Office can just be blamed. I am tired of the kids in this place with flawed morality. They steal, rob, rape and kill. Being a great thief is their only ambition because “to live a straight life at the Archiepelago is stupid”. Stealing and a life of crime is better in a world of hell because at least you benefit. The  kids only respect the thiefs and disrespect everyone else; the thiefs are their role models and so the cycle perpetuates. I am tired of the Police dogs being better fed than humans. I am tired of suffering. I am tired of life and death in it’s negative polarity because who say’s its better?

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