February 2021

February 2021

I will never forget February 2021, it was brutal, hellish and cold. It was Murphy's law, everything just seemed to go wrong. It was a testing time. I was out in the numbing cold, freezing to death and nobody seemed to care; another statistic of life, somebody with immense talent who succumbed like the others. No food, hungry and broke, my reality was not what I had imagined. Businesses and Investments pedestrian, at least I didn't have kids or a cat. Chasing my dreams was like chasing my shadow, the faster I moved, the faster it eluded me. I was like Gatsby chasing the green light that's already behind me. I got robbed too, somebody held a gun to my head and threatened to end my life, all before I had a wife. Killing each other in the townships is rife. To add insult to injury, the girl that I loved had had enough. My progress was too slow and the flickering of the lights made her contemplate of a different future. I never understood how she had such high expectations but no patience. I had no one to run to. I lost a lot of weight. The cheap weed I was smoking made me thinner. At least I had the Gulag Archiepelago, thank you Solzhenitzyn. R5 bread for 3 days with Crack n snacks and water, very economical model. I did some dying but it was good, I had to disconnect to reconnect. I was intrigued. I laughed at my situation. Everything I prized was disappearing or gone. The worst that could happen to me had already transpired and I was still alive and happy with myself. This gave me much confidence and I still had my character and dreams. It was an opportunity to go again, this time the foundation would be stronger. I had learned a lot, I was smarter, I was better, even more fearless and determined. I was enthused and motivated. I stopped engaging with the outside world and made myself a priority. I looked inwards. I put one foot in front of the other. My eyes gleamed with excitement and zeal. All I've ever wanted to do was to get to 26 alive and with my opinion. I would build my life with Lego blocks that defy time and space. The aim was to create skyscrapers that elevated to God's grace. I did it, February is a reference point. It's too late now, I've got someone way better. Someone with vision. Someone who motivates me, who appreciates me. Take your time, differentiate me, I am no average Joe. I told you, you'll never find anybody better than me.