Don't wait up...

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Don't wait up! 

I told her straight up "don't wait up!" I was serious as a heart attack. If something better came along she was free to board along and experience the voyage like a cruise because the cost of not doing so was Titanic! Not that I don't hold myself in high-esteem but I was being practical. Unlike an IPO, I had nothing to offer in a monetary sense. Like a shattered mirror I was irrevocably broke. Money represents power and I had none like a weakling. Devoid of muscle, how can I carry my lady like the queen she is all over the world? Better men exist in the world, men who can grant her whatever her heart desires. Men who can love her without insecurities. Men who can touch, stroke and caress her like the keys of a piano. Men who can satisfy her sexual urges, kiss her, make her moan and groan like the horns in a Jazz festival. I am the shadow of that man and hence my appearance at the rear. Jealously is not practical and conducive for a flourishing life. Not that I have never been jealous before, I have. I remember the distinct feeling of wanting to possess my love object like a demon, ironically I was the one possessed. Needless to say she saw right through me and chose to hike to a better life. Life requires flexibility and the presence of mind to hop onto a moving train en route to your destination. Stagnation leads to decay. Life is a continual process of evolution and hence, she will find better, it's mothernature's will. I don't say this to drive her away or to instigate mind games, I do this because my love for her is as white as snow. I would hate to be a burden. I wouldn't want to hinder her progress towards becoming. The worst thing that could happen to me is that she stays with me because she is obligated and contracted like a marriage. Love is simply electrical signals and chemicals processed by the brain and body, it is not enough to sustain all of life. Me and her are not enough, moreso that I am stripped of financial resources. I think all the time about how I wish things were better. I see myself as an archetype of a great man. However, greatness takes time. It would be unfair of me to ask her to stay along even though I know things are going to be better. With time we will have everything, including the capital to purchase Satan's soul. 

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