Zamokuhle (The superior man)

Zamokuhle (The Superior Man)

2 December 2008

He is new to us; just like how I had been in the past. That always has a seductive element. What more can I say? His okay.

14 February 2010

Why shouldn’t I be a bit narcissistic? I am pretty. I am hot. Life is about perspective and I have men and boys drooling over me.

14 September 2012

Why did he choose me? I did nothing to warrant or initiate this. I have my problems too. Why me? My one night out all summer. He hasn’t even tried speaking to me. And Facebook? Really? His too much of a boy.

5 April 2014

I am not sure about his intentions. He is too smitten. He is overly infatuated with me. I sense a lot of insecurities. I am flattered of course but I can do better. Besides the time is lost – the show goes on. But because I am a good person. I am going to give him a go. Two weeks ago, I met a guy coincidentally has the same name. He is a bit older. He is good looking not cute unlike the former.

He looks assured. He is always in a suit – men in suits make me melt. It’s a seduction thing, I just

can’t get enough of them! He has businesses. He has money. He looks powerful. It’s obvious which direction I am leaning towards – it’s a no brainer. Maybe that was a bad example – it was doomed from the start. But such is the probability of us linking up.

16 March 2015

I wish he would just leave me alone. I don’t mind the attention plus it confirms I am still good, but it can be tiring. His plan just has the opposite effect. His fighting a losing battle. I don’t want to be with him.

18 May 2016

He just doesn’t have an off button.

18 November 2017

Mr. Insecurities strikes again. I don’t need this in my life. Besides, I kind of like his friend much better we have a history. He makes everything difficult and complicated. I have issues and problems too

that’s why I am always running. Biding my time; I’ll get my time, my moment. Life is frustrating. I feel I am in a loop and I have to do the things I don’t like every day. All I want to do is watch television and sleep. The pressures of being a woman in the modern world. If he knew what I have been through, he wouldn’t like me as much. He would stay away. He would leave. He would stop loving me. I am pure in his eyes. I don’t want to tarnish that. He thinks I am perfect.

21 February 2018

He apologized for his outbreak – his moment of madness. Like “give me a chance”, “I love you” get the fuck away with that. He makes me nervous like what do you want from me? I am not who you think I am, get away, get away! I wish he would just go away. I don’t know why I have his number saved on my phone. I don’t know why I respond to his messages. I don’t know why I send him my best pictures. He appreciates them (the pictures), goes crazy for them, sends a million emoji’s because of them – my pictures genuinely make him happy. He makes me feel good.

26 July 2018

For my birthday he bought me book about food and sent it over the internet. It was an eBook, it was sweet. He said that he remembered a moment in high school when I wanted to change the school’s tuck-shop menu and that lead him to purchase a book about food. I appreciate the sentiment and the thought. Last year for my birthday, he wanted to take me out. In nicely constructed paragraphs he politely asked me out. I couldn’t say no – he knew when my birthday was; that’s nice. I agreed but I needed to be strategic. I postponed on the last day to take him off his stride. He was adamant and determined to see me so we had to postpone for the following week. I knew he wouldn’t take his foot off the pedal so this time I had to see him. It almost didn’t happen because I had errands to run in town but he patiently wanted for me and we had a good time. Overall, I had a great birthday!

12 September 2018

I have started talking with an old friend of mine. His someone I had a crush on. It started when we were young. The element of time is making the seductive process stronger as I now feel intoxicated by him. It all started at the tender age of 11, we were both in a new environment - a new school to further develop ourselves and minds. We were both on a neutral platform so we linked and communicated with one another with greater ease. Because he was also new, he was one of the first students I knew. And then he switched schools once again and he was gone. I met him 2 years later in high school and he still looked good. Another two years apart and we were in the same class. That’s when our love affair commenced. You see it’s a great love affair bonded by destiny and the Universe. We just never got the timing right but it could still happen. I am still young and pretty and his just amazing. You see it in his posts his strong, his radiant, durable, assured and everything is just going right for him. He comes from a good family with good values and principles. He has money. He has travelled the world and women find him irresistible. His amazing!

15 September 2018

I want him. I love him. I just can’t stop thinking about him. My whole structure of being is filled with desire for another man. How do I get his attention? How do I make him go crazy with desire?

26 September 2018

His my best friend, my confidant. I tell him everything.