Second chance

Second chance

I satisfied 3 women this month, it's been a good month. I worked hard, I deserve all the acclaim. Of course it could be hot air, women fake all the time. A woman friend of mine spilled the beans and notified me she was faking when we were together. All the moans and groans were an act, she was faking her orgasms. Worse is that I thought I gave a good account of myself, when she broke the news I was devastated because everything was predicated on that moment. It made me think of how many women were faking when we were together. She doesn't even want to give me another chance to redeem myself. She says it would be weird and would ruin our friendship. Disappointing analysis, when has sex ever ruined a good thing? Ironically, not having sex is what will ruin our relationship. Cause right now I am all insecure and I need some feedback, I know I could do better, time has elapsed and I have experience under my belt, the act of lovemaking has become an art, I could make her orgasm and it won't be an act. I hate it, it's like she's got weight over me, she's got control and power, says she was sparing my feelings and boosting my confidence, how emasculating is that? I'd rather she lay in bed a mute, at least I'd know I wasn't doing shit. But the faking, the deception, that's unforgivable! I feel like my whole life is a lie. Still I doubt it, I'd know if she were faking, I mean, what am I a moron? I know myself, I am industrious, I work hard, I don't believe it, she sang high notes. Being stoic is good and all but women talk, the grapevine is a dangerous place for a bachelor. I don't think I am crap but I need a second chance to redeem myself. I could do better, I need more raving reviews. We can make it transactional, it doesn't need to mean anything, I am enlightened, I pay attention, I can deliver a cascade of orgasms, I can prove it, I have 3 happy reviews and it's midway through the month. I need my second chance or we won't survive as friends.